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Conservatives vs. Liberals:

What It All Really Means

Like the critique of automatic chauffeurs on the Linguistics page, this piece also owes its origins to on-line debates on the newgroup alt.fan.unabomber. The theme is a familiar one for most Americans, though it is seen here from an unusual angle and with quite different conclusions than those often emerging from such debates.

It has aroused a fair amount of discussion on several newsgroups. Judge for yourself...

WHICH WORD IS DIRTIER?

The "C" Word or the "L" Word???

They've done a really good job making the "L" word sound dirty. But they've forgotten about the dirtiest word of all—the "C" word.

It's SUCH a dirty word that it's pretty scary even trying to spell it out.

But let's try anyway:

C-O-N-S-E-R-V-A-T-I-V-E

And now let's say it:

CONSERVATIVE

Compared to Conservatives, the worst liberals have ever done the least bit dirty is run up a few deficits or try out a few new ideas that didn't work.

As opposed to the hundreds of new ideas they tried out that DID work.

But Conservatives have won every Dirtiness Contest over the last two thousand years. And counting.

Here are just a few of their dirty tricks and dirty secrets through the ages.

Including a bunch they're still hard at work on.

Let no one ever forget that "Conservatives" have been responsible for everything from:

The decline of Greek skepticism and science and the onset of the Dark Ages...

to the Sack of Constantinople, the Albigensian Crusade, the Spanish Inquisition...

the Counter-Reformation, the campaign against Copernicus and Galileo...

the English Civil War, the championship of slavery throughout the entire world...

the American Civil War (including some blood ancestors of the Southerners STILL calling the shots in Washington)...

the massacre of Native Americans over the last two centuries...

fervent and frequently violent opposition to Labor Unions...

backward educational standards in half the nation, poor or poisoned food supplies for most of the population...

Tzarist Russia, Communist Russia (yes, the communists were the most Conservative of the Conservative, however their theory may have read)...

Fascist Italy, Nazi Germany, McCarthyist & near-fascist America, plus of course Nixon's even closer brush with fascism...

the uncontrolled and ongoing rape of the environment...

partial or total opposition to sex in any and all of its forms...

poor health care for half the nation, bigotry and prejudice against Blacks, Latinos, and all ethnic groups arriving in the US...

victimization of women and the ongoing murderous campaign against abortion...

the unceasing war against the arts and freedom of expression, even when they don't question conventional opinions...

and the still unchecked plague afflicting millions of tobacco victims.

But we forgot—it goes back even further than that—all the way back to when we still dwelled in caves.

Guess what? They wanted to stay there.

Every step along the road of progress—all the way, the conservatives dug in their heels and tried to destroy anyone trying to go the slightest bit further.

That's what being a conservative is all about—

conserving what THEY consider normal,
and doing away with everything else.

Are we really supposed to respect the opinions of such people? Are we really supposed to view them as responsible members of society?

MOST IMPORTANT, are we really supposed to VOTE for them????

November, 2004 is coming. It may be the only chance you'll get.

It's your decision.

A Bulletin from the Internet

NOT COPYRIGHT IN THE SLIGHTEST!

Please Spread the Word!

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